Out of Death Into Life.........
1 Jn. 3:14
A MESSAGE FROM OUR PASTOR,? FATHER MICHAEL J. RUSSO
As priests, we are involved in the grieving processes of many people. Some invite us into their hearts in a very personal way. They remain, always, a part of our lives. We are seldom, if ever, only bystanders. The rituals of our Catholic Church are often very effective in moving people to a deeper healing. Whether this happens quickly or over a longer period of time depends on many factors. Where there is a deep and basic movement toward wholeness, the person's faith is an important part of this process.
Allow us to share our faith with you. From caring and loving hearts comes this work of hope, with a prayer that it will help to lead you, "OUT OF DEATH INTO LIFE!"
"You Grieve Because You Have Dared to Love"
INTRODUCTION
GRIEF: WHERE TO TURN
Grief is an emotion, a natural reaction to the death of someone close to us or a death-like experience such as moving, losing a job, changes in financial security, illnesses, tragic accidents and many other events in our lives. We struggle to accept our loss and may feel consumed by the pain we are experiencing.
We are often confused by the mixture of the feelings inside us. Denial, shock, disbelief, rage, anger, guilt, helplessness, fear, and even relief and humor, may swirl through our minds and hearts. Questions that may never be answered take on huge importance in our heads. "Why?" "How could I have changed it?" "Why now?"
People near us say it is normal to feel this way; yet, we cannot be sure that anything is normal anymore. Our whole existence has changed. Are we still who we were before this happened? If not, who are we now? What do we do next? How do we cope?
Thankfully, relatives, friends and neighbors stay close for a period of time. But, this may not be enough to help us or someone we know through the tough times that stretch out for months and even years. Sometimes our grief may be complicated by unresolved issues, postponing the pain or avoiding the reality of the death experience or our changed lives.
Whether our grief has become complicated, or whether we want some feedback from others about how they have coped with their pain, or perhaps we just need to be with others who understand our pain, there are resources we can use. This booklet offers practical suggestions, places to turn, and, above all, people who care and understand what we are experiencing.
Adapted from: Pat Andrus
THE MOURNING AFTER Program
Martin & Castille Funeral Home
Source: Directory of Support Services for the Bereaved, 4th Edition, 1998;
permission granted; for more information contact
Pat Andrus?
(337) 234 2311
PERSONAL EXPERIENCES OF LOSS
Loss of a Spouse
By Margaret H. Zaunbrecher
I lost my husband, Glenn, almost two years ago to a disease called amyloidosis. I used to talk about it - I would tell Glenn that he was not an ordinary man and would not have had an ordinary disease. But it wasn't funny - the prognosis was grim - the disease would continue to spread and there was no cure.
At first, I couldn't believe this was happening to me. It was the kind of thing that happened to other people. Glenn was in the prime of his life with so much to live for. I experienced denial and anger and guilt. I felt scared and sick and helpless. Eventually I was led to acceptance.
My faith gave me the strength and courage to face each day and to accept God's will. Daily Mass and Communion, as long as it was possible, and prayer - especially the rosary, and the consolation of the scapular were so important. I can't begin to imagine going through anything like this without the Church. It would have been impossible for me.
Even though I lived with the pain that I was going to lose Glenn, I came to see the goodness of God through it all. God could have taken him in any number of ways. Instead, He sent him a cross that slowed him down and gave him time to get closer to his family than ever before. God took from him the things he enjoyed doing most in this world to help him prepare for the next world.
Glenn was sick for a year and then death came quickly. I wasn't ready for the finality of it - I would never hear his voice again, see his smile, or feel his strong arms around me.
At the time of the funeral I was accepting, but some days after I began to think how unfair it was that God had taken him from me. I became very angry and then felt guilty because of my anger. But thank God, He sent me a friend who said it was normal and okay to be angry and for my emotions to bounce back and forth.
The best advice I received was to "be myself" - to feel the way I needed to feel, to say what I needed, to do what I needed, to hear what I needed, and to be where I needed to be. This sounds very selfish, but it's only in allowing the pain to happen that healing can take place. Normal activity is good, but I had to allow myself the time to experience loneliness and pain.
My first Christmas without Glenn came shortly after his death. My whole family went through the motions of having a normal holiday. By late afternoon though, I was really feeling bad and realized I had not spent the day the way I needed. I didn't talk about it to anyone, but thank God the next morning a friend came over to visit and I was able to have a good cry and unburden myself - all I had wanted to do Christmas day was to sit and cry and miss my husband and let it hurt, and I hadn't done it. I promised myself that would never happen again - that I would never be busy when I needed to be quiet.
God has been good to me in many ways. He speaks to me through friends, through the priest, at Mass, in confession, and I can't say enough about how the Catholic cable network EWTN helped me through those first months.
I believe that our loved ones are still close to us and many times, through the grace of God and the Blessed Mother, we receive signs assuring us of this. I have prayed for this and my prayers have been answered. I encourage you to pray for signs to be able to experience these wonderful holy moments when we are allowed to feel the presence and the love of God in a most special way.
Loss of a Parent
By Charlotte O. Tanner
My mother died a few weeks before Christmas, 1990, after a very long illness. During this time she was often in a lot of pain - physically and emotionally. But her greatest pain was her fear of death. She seldom shared her fears with me. We just pretended they didn't exist and that she would live forever. On the day she died, she went through surgery, and as I walked her to the elevator I told her: "I'll see you later .... I love you" -- all the words we take for granted.
When I finally saw Mother after the surgery, she looked different to me - her eyes very glassy. She didn't complain, didn't ask for her usual items -- her rosary, her medals, her teeth; these were important to Mom. I was able to talk to her; she would nod with a simple yes or no. It was not long before Mother died. I remember is so clearly -- no warning, no gasping for air -- just a blissful giving up of her spirit. Having watched Mother suffer so much, her death was a peaceful and consoling experience for me.
At the funeral I felt such a painful void, but I disguised it very well. I was a hostess to friends and family, rather than a bereaved daughter. I greeted everyone, comforted everyone. All the while I was feeling a tremendous pain in my heart. You see, I can't cry. My heart cries, but there are never tears. Many years ago my father died a sudden tragic death. In retrospect, I think it was then that I turned off everything related to expressing emotional pain. Discussing my feelings is not a natural thing for me to be able to do. I hope, through the grace of God, that I can in someway help others who also have a hard time expressing and dealing with their emotions. I still don't understand the "why" of it all. But, I have faith that God will always take care of me and help me through the painful grief.
In the days that followed the funeral I initially felt relieved because I knew Mom was no longer suffering. But I soon began to question whether I was relieved for her sake or for my own. Guilt soon set in and went on for several months. I was not dealing with my feelings and soon shut myself off from day to day events. I went to the doctor and was treated for depression. I realize now that during my Mom's illness, I took on a lot of her emotional and physical suffering which soon consumed me and resulted in my depression and physical illness.
Throughout my painful struggles, I continued to persevere in prayer. I have a great devotion to the rosary (as my Mom did). It is a prayer that gives me great joy. I also found consolation sitting with our Lord in the Adoration Chapel. So much peace came when sitting in the presence of the Lord. I was able to place everything at His feet and leave it with Him. Family and friends were very helpful. A listening ear can be so comforting.
It's been almost a year since Mother's death. I sometimes still reach for the phone to call her, then I realize that she's not with me anymore, but with the Lord.
As I write I'm still struggling, trying to discover where I am in all of this. I still feel the void and I am still unable to cry. But through all of my pain and struggle, I know God is near me, carrying me along the way.
I recently heard a very dear priest say something that deeply touched me. He remarked that perhaps God holds a tiny piece of my broken heart with Him in Heaven, so that only in Heaven, as I gaze at God, will I be able to love totally -- perfectly. Only then will my "void" be filled.
My prayers go to all of you who have lost a parent.
Loss of a Child
By Bill & Cheryl Guidry
On August 16, 1986, our 4 year old son, Phillip, was diagnosed with leukemia. From that very moment our lives changed, never again to be the same, not for us nor our children. We spent the next year in and out of St. Jude's Hospital watching a very courageous little boy endure the pains and struggles of childhood cancer. At the same time, Phillip had a zest for life which gave us tremendous strength and courage. When Phillip was diagnosed he had an eight year old sister who was in his words "my best friend" and a one week old baby sister that he already adored.
Phillip died one year later on August 7, 1987, at St. Jude's Hospital. The feelings and emotions that we've had to deal with since his death have been so intense and so consuming that it's difficult to find words to describe; however, those of you who have lost a child can well understand.
During the next couple of days which followed, though in an unknown state of shock, we managed to plan Phillip's funeral, make the decisions that had to be made, and visit with the many friends and family that came to support us. There were so many family and friends who did so very much for us, we cannot imagine how it might have been without their help and support. The weeks that followed, were somehow now filled with desperate feelings of loneliness and isolation. The family and friends were still there, but the pain within felt so deep and unmanageable that we were not sure how we were ever going to cope and manage our family and our lives again. It seemed to take all the strength we could muster to give to our girls. How could we ever expect to be happy or joyful again? One of our precious children had died.
Just a few weeks after Phillip died, we were introduced to a support group for parents who had lost a child(ren). The group was Compassionate Friends and met in Lafayette once a month. We reluctantly went to this group out of desperation. We didn't know how to cope and we were hurting so much, we were willing to try almost anything that might give us some relief - some hope for our future and for our children's.
It is now very clear to us that during Phillip's illness, and in the weeks and months that followed his death, God carried us through our pain and struggles. We very often felt angry with God and felt abandoned by him for allowing this tragedy. We were spiritually confused with unanswered "Why's." But as time began to move along, we, too, began taking some forward steps on the journey towards a new life - a new normal life. (We wanted the old life, but eventually began to accept the fact that we would never again have things as they once were).
God could not return to us what we so very much wanted, but He did allow us to learn and grow from our tragedy. It is our belief that God does not cause tragic events in our lives, but He does allow them to happen. It is part of the price we pay for the freedom God has given us.
In time we began to know how God was going to help us survive. Through the love, support, and prayers of our family and friends, through the many books we read on the grief process and the Compassionate Friends Support Group, we've learned not only to survive, but also to live again. Through the help of these resources, we came to recognize that the feelings of anger and isolation, the loneliness and desperation, the feelings of being stripped of self confidence as a parent were all very normal and that we were not going crazy.
We've come to know and understand that grief is a journey that can either cripple, or become a time of growth spiritually and emotionally. We have come a very long way on our journey through grief - and for that we give thanks to God. We also are clearly aware that for the rest of our lives we must continue living through the lifelong losses that come with the death of a child. We know we will continue to feel the loss of Phillip's not being there for the first day of school, not being there to graduate from high school with those who were his friends, not being a part of his sisters" lives, not knowing his new little sister in the family, or not ever becoming our adult son. Although we continue to hurt and miss Phillip, we have also been able to accept, to adjust, to live again, and to laugh again.
We will always, always miss Phillip not being here as a part of our earthly life, but our faith in God's promise of eternal life and happiness allows us to have Phillip in our lives spiritually every moment of every day. It is this assurance that has allowed us to re-create a new normal life for us and our now three daughters. We've come to create a balance to our lives, one that has both the joys and struggles of life. Through God's blessings and our continuing journey through grief we've learned to live and to laugh again. May you too learn to live again and laugh again one day at a time.
God bless you and your family.
Loss of a Sibling
By Sarah Brabant, PhD,?
Certified Clinical Sociologist/Certified Grief Counselor
Children are often the forgotten grievers. It is important to remember that they grieve too, and just as grief is unique for each adult, grief is unique for each child. So there is no one way that is the right way. Each child will grieve in his or her own way. It is important to affirm the child's right to grieve and to provide a safe place for him or her to do so. It is also important to listen. A child will let us know how we can help if we take the time to listen.
The Compassionate Friends Sibling Support Group, Acadiana Chapter, is for children who have lost a brother or sister. Some of the children in this group prepared this list of suggestions.
1. Don't overprotect us. We are trying to fit back in and overprotecting us makes it harder.
2. Don't hide your grief from us. Show us that you grieve too so we will come to you when we are hurting.
3. We want to know what has happened or is happening, but we are often afraid to ask for fear of hurting you more than you already hurt. Please give us opportunities to ask you questions and please answer our questions truthfully.
4. We often feel we are being ignored when we're left with other people, especially when these people won't talk to us about what is going on.
5. Sometimes when we are hurting real bad, we need to be left alone. Please honor this need.
6. Sometimes we're happy when you are sad and sometimes we are sad when you are happy. Help us to know that this is alright.
7. Don't tell us something just to be saying something. It's alright to tell us that you don't know.. Don't tell us that we won't understand when we ask questions. We often understand more than you think we do.
Miscarriage/Stillborn
By Madelene & Ricky Boudreaux
It has been 14 years since our tragic experience of having a "stillborn" baby boy. Even though time has a way of healing, twinges of pain almost always accompany those bitter memories that go with experiencing a "stillbirth."
This experience can't be equally or fairly compared to the death of a loved one, for so much mystery revolves around what might have been. What would he have looked like? What would have been his first words? An endless number of questions are unanswered.
In our own grief process, we probably denied much of our pain because we were truly never "allowed" to grieve openly. Well-meaning friends and family all said things like, "maybe it was for the best," "you can always have more children," "get on with your life and things will get better." Not many people said, "I know that it hurts and I understand."
Some of what they said was true because we have four beautiful children and one more on the way, but we didn't face our grief until nearly ten years after we lost our baby, when we both experienced the Lord calling us to a deeper spiritual life. We wish, now, that we had dealt with the pain early after our loss.
The load of unresolved pain can get very heavy when left to stir in one's soul for too long. Our only words of encouragement to anyone in a similar situation is to allow yourself to grieve - because the pain of losing a baby is very real and it hurts.
The Lord will be there to support you and bring you back to a joyous life once more. Now we are forever grateful for our little saint in heaven, who watches over us daily. One day we will meet him and our Heavenly Father, and what a glorious reward that will be.
With love and great compassion for all those who experience the loss of a baby through stillbirth or miscarriage - we understand!
DEATH AND THE AFTERLIFE -- WHAT CATHOLICS BELIEVE
1. Why did this happen? Why does God allow people to die?
Death was not the original intention of God. God made us in His own Divine Image to perfectly share in His love and goodness. But the sin of our first parents brought about a state of separation from God, and consequently, loss of eternal life. Thus, the reason for death is sin.
As odd as this may sound, we need death to get rid of sin. God allows death not to punish us, but to heal us -- to restore our fallen human nature. Though it is not good that death has to exist, seen in the context of sin it is good, it is necessary.?
It is important to remember that death reunites us to God. Jesus Christ, Himself, submitted to death. The Good News is that, through Him, death was destroyed and life restored!
2. Why do good people suffer? I prayed and prayed for a miracle..... Where is it?
A complete and perfect answer to this question belongs to the end of time, when every pain and tear will be wiped away. There are, however, several good analogies which enable us to better understand the mystery of innocent suffering. Take, for instance, a novel.
The plot of most novels ends with the old adage, "and they all lived happily ever after." But, before getting to the end, it is first necessary to read through the pages in the middle -- this takes time!
As human beings, we are like characters in a novel, journeying to a blessed end. But, often, the time we spend getting through the middle of our own "stories" can seem overwhelmingly difficult. It is here that we turn to Jesus Christ.
In the life of Jesus, we ironically find the innocent sufferer: the homelessness and poverty of Bethlehem, the hatred and jealousy of the authorities, the abandonment and loneliness on the Cross. And here lies the Christian answer to unjust suffering, namely, that God does not sit on His heavenly throne letting bad things happen to good people. No, in the person of Jesus, our God chose to enter into the world. He chose to suffer with us. He is on our side. Can any of us ultimately reject this kind of God?
There is another side to this discussion. When a parent refuses to do a child's homework, it causes hardship for the child. Would the solution be to do the child's homework? No, for them the child would never learn. The point is that good and loving people can sometimes let us "suffer." Yes, it is painful. Yes, it hurts. But if it is united to the Cross of Christ, redemptive lessons are always learned, and we emerge as better persons - spiritually and emotionally.
In his apostolic letter, "On the Christian Meaning of Human Suffering," Pope John Paul II stated that "suffering is present in the world in order to release love, in order to give birth to works of love toward neighbor, in order to transform the whole of human civilization into a "civilization of love"."
So why does God allow suffering? For the same reason He does everything -?
HE LOVES US AND INVITES US TO LOVE IN RETURN!
3. What about Purgatory?
None of us can say that we are perfect. Throughout our lives we struggle to rid ourselves of habits of sin and uncontrolled desires that often penetrate our very personality. Since there is only perfection in heaven, it seems natural that before approaching the unspeakable holiness of God, our weaknesses and failing must be removed.
More accurately, purgatory is a "state" or "condition" by which the soul is purified before entering heaven. It is like heaven's "bathroom" where we get "washed-up" for the magnificent heavenly banquet.
The "cleansing" of purgatory is no doubt painful. Whenever our faults are laid bare there are difficult lessons to learn. Change always hurts. The greatest suffering in purgatory is the temporary loss of the vision of God -- who is so near, yet so far. Medieval imagery depicts purgatory as a place of fire. Though this is not an article of faith, this imagery aptly portrays the notion of purification. Certainly, a veil of mystery prevents us from accurately assessing the intensity of pain in purgatory.
Since the souls in purgatory are outside of the standards of worldly time, the process of purification is difficult to measure. Some hold that it takes place in an instant; others believe that it endures for some time. In any case, it is important to remember that while there is intense pain in purgatory, it is not solely a place of negative suffering. The souls in purgatory are also very happy because they are assured of their salvation.
St. Catherine of Genoa comments on purgatory as a state of positive progress. She wrote that the worst suffering in purgatory is more joyful than the greatest joys on earth "because God is there teaching you ... and you want to learn everything He teaches .... even about your sin. It hurts, but it is Truth ... and you love the Truth. This is why you're there in the first place, because God is Truth." Once we are mature enough to know ourselves, we can know and love others as we could never on earth -- this completes the Communion of Saints.
Finally, purgatory is the love and mercy of God -- does it not offer hope for some wayward loved one, and for all of us who find it hard to rid ourselves of habitual sin?
4. How and why should we pray for the dead?
When we pray for the dead, we are praying for the souls in purgatory, since the souls in heaven or hell do not benefit from our prayers. This practice is rooted in Scripture, in the Second Book of Maccabees 12:46 -- "It is a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead that they may be loosed from their sins."
When we speak of the Communion of Saints, we refer to the Church "triumphant" in heaven, the pilgrim Church on earth, and the Church "suffering" in purgatory. All three are united since they are joined to Christ. It is a comforting thought that the Church souls in purgatory by our works of piety, by almsgiving, charity, and fasting -- but more solemnly, by the prayer of the Mass. When we are gathered around the Altar, and the Eucharistic Lord, our loved ones come to us; here is where they touch us, and we touch them. Though we cannot see them, we are able to "feel" them. Why? Because it is at the Mass that the Church on earth unites itself to both the Church in heaven and the Church in purgatory, with one voice, rendering thanks to God, who has given us the victory through Our Lord Jesus Christ!
One final point: the Church does not sell Masses. No one can buy a Mass. At every Mass, all of the dead are remembered. When a particular request is made to remember a deceased loved one, an offering is generally given to the priest, who remembers the deceased in his personal intention. This practice is traced to the very beginning of the Church, when the faithful offered bread and wine to be used for the celebration of the Mass. In time, monetary offerings are appropriate because they evidence our concern for the Church and support the Church's ministers and works (Canon 946). Often, a percentage of this money is sent to the missions, which helps to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ to every nation.
5. Did God make hell? How can a loving God send people to hell?
Anyone who does not believe in hell need only look at a crucifix, which reminds us of what Our Lord endured so that we might not go there. Jesus did not give us much information about hell, only that it exists. The New Testament uses symbolic language such as "unquenchable fire" and "the grinding of teeth." But, ultimately, hell, as a physical place, stands behind a veil of mystery. More accurately, we can expound on hell as a "state" or "condition" created by the souls who go there. Did God make hell? No! We make hell.
Several of the saints spoke of hell as the mercy of God, explaining that at the moment of judgment, the soul becomes intensely aware of God's love. Only at the moment of death will we really know and understand how much God loves us. The soul who chooses hell does not know how to love. It's life choices were so deliberately rooted in selfishness, that it willingly turns away from God's invitation to life and love. It chooses to hide from God; to expose itself to God's love and light would be too painful. This is what hell is: people who live without love, trapped in self-frustration and bitter hate, persistent in their sins and unwilling to let go of their rejection of God's commandments. Since the human person was made for the sole purpose of loving and serving God, separation from Him is the most terrible of sufferings.
God cannot force our love. He does not treat us like puppets, monitoring our every movement. He has given us the precious gift of freedom -- to choose. If we are free to say "yes" to God's love, we must be free to say "no" to God's love.
Our salvation is completely the work of Jesus. Our hope rests knowing that He has done everything possible to assure it. But we, too, have our role to play, one that cooperates and responds to Christ's loving invitation. The basic criterion of our response is simple: "If you love me .... If you say you really love me, then obey my commandments" (John 14:15). So sacred is this duty, that the Holy Spirit has been sent to us to help us live out this noble command.
In sum, hell is made by those who go there .... and, for the most part, the road to hell is hellish.
6. What is heaven like?
Again, there is the veil of mystery -- "Eye has not seen, ear has not heard, what God has ready for those who love Him" (1 Corinthians 2:9). Yet, it is commonly agreed that, essentially, we will do the same things in heaven as we do now -- but perfectly.
Our greatest joy in heaven will lie in the awesome adventure of penetrating the very heart of God as He reveals Himself to us in innumerable ways. We will partake of the exciting journey of getting to know and love our very Creator more perfectly and completely. We will get to know the angels and the saints. (Imagine meeting our Lady, St. Francis of Assisi, St. Peter and St. Paul.) Too, we will love even more intensely those whom we have loved on earth. This poses an important question. Would the absence from heaven of a loved one make us sad? The answer is "no." In heaven, our happiness is rooted solemnly in the will of God. To be attached to anyone or anything that has chosen to be apart from God would be inconsistent with this understanding.
While everyone in heaven will be perfect and complete, our degree of happiness will be in accord with the life we lived on earth. A good analogy is the comparison of a small glass filled with water to a large glass filled with water. While the larger glass contains more water, the smaller glass is full, and does not have the capacity to receive more. Similarly, in heaven, our degree of perfection and happiness is in accordance to our capacity to receive it.
The fullness of glory will come at the end of the world when, at our Lord's second coming, there will be a general judgment of the world. All things will be made known, and the entire universe will be joined to Christ. When this occurs, purgatory will be no more. The bodies of all the dead will be joined to their souls -- in heaven or hell.
It is fitting that our bodies will be reunited to our souls. We do not change species after we die. Our eyes, ears, mouth, touch, and sense will all remain. We will be fully conscious of our identity. But we will be different; the bodies of the just will be glorified, beautiful, and supernaturally radiant. Our bodies will no longer be susceptible to suffering and sickness, and we will have no need to preserve it with food or sleep. We will not be limited by time and space and will be able to move about freely in an instant. In sum, heaven will be one exciting adventure after another; every "moment" will offer new ways to "know" and "love."
We have all, at one time or another, experienced a foretaste of heaven while on earth. Whether it be at the joyful birth of a child, or the peace of heart that comes with life's varied experiences, our loving God sends us little signs to remind us that one day every tear will be wiped away, the world will be transformed, AND DEATH WILL BE NO MORE!
Note: Sources for the above include:?
Kreeft, Peter. Yes or No - Straight Answers to Tough Questions about Christianity.
Ignatius Press: 1991;?
Groeschel, Benedict. EWTN - "Series on the Afterlife."? 1991; The Catholic Encyclopedia; and various Catholic Catechisms.
?
SCRIPTURE REFLECTIONS
Death was not God's original intention for us but entered the world through the sin of disobedience.
Wisdom 1:13-14 (God did not make death)
Wisdom 2:23-24 (By the envy of the devil, death entered the world)
Romans 5:12 (Through one man, sin entered the world)
Jesus won the victory over sin and death.
John 6:37-40, 51-58 (Whoever believes in Jesus has eternal life)
John 11:25-26 (Jesus is the resurrection and the life)
John 3:16 (God so loved the world that He gave His Son)
Hebrews 9:24-28 (We die once and are judged)
Luke 23:39-43 (The thief on the cross)
1 Corinthians 15:50-57 (Death, where is your victory)
Romans 8:28-29 (Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ)
Romans 14:7-9, 10-12 (Alive or dead, we belong to the Lord)
1 Corinthians 15:20-24, 25-28 (All will be brought to life in Christ)
Romans 5:5-11 (We will be saved from God's anger)
Romans 5:17-21 (Death came from one man, so grace comes from Christ)
When Jesus comes again, death will be destroyed forever.
Revelation 21:1-5, 6-7 (No more death)
Isaiah 25:8 (He will destroy death forever)
Strong emotions at the time of death and during the grieving period are normal and expected. Tears are a healthy release of these emotions.
John 11:34-36 (Jesus wept at Lazarus' tomb)
Sirach 38:16-23 (Shed tears for one who is dead)
Scripture provides comfort for the grieving.
Psalm 34:19 (The Lord is near to the brokenhearted)
Psalm 116:15 (Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His faithful ones)
1 Thessalonians 4:13-17 (Don't yield to grief without hope)
Wisdom 3:1-9 (The souls of the just are in the hands of God)
Wisdom 4:7-18 (On early death)
Sirach 41:1-2 (Death is welcome to the weak and suffering)
Philippians 1:21 (Dying is gain)
Sirach 1:11 (Blessings on the day of death)
Psalm 23 (The Lord is my shepherd)
John 14:1-6 (There are many rooms in my Father's house)
Revelation 14:13 (Happy are those who die in the Lord)
John 12:23-26 (If a grain of wheat dies, it yields a rich harvest)
Daniel 12:1-3 (Many will awake)
2 Maccabees 12:43-46 (Praying for the dead)
2 Corinthians 5:1, 6-10 (We have an everlasting home in heaven)
1 John 3:1-2 (We shall see Him as He really is)
Matthew 11:25-30 (Come to me, all you who are weary)
SUPPORT GROUPS
SERVICES OFFERED BY THE DIOCESE OF LAFAYETTE, LOUISIANA:
Beginning Experience
Contact: Diocese of Lafayette Family Life Office -- Phone (337) 261-5653
or Annette Blanchard -- Phone (337) 235-9796 (after 5:00 p.m.)
Services Provided: The Beginning Experience is an intense weekend to assist widowed, separated and divorced persons in finalizing the pain of loss.?
Groups served: Widowed, separated and divorced persons who have experienced their losses at least nine months prior to the weekend.
Circle of Friends
Contact: Diocese of Lafayette Family Life Office -- Phone (337) 261-5653
or Wilda Bergeron -- Phone (337) 984-2439
Services Provided: A support group which offers understanding and self-help through group discussions and lectures. Social opportunities are also offered. The group meets weekly.?
Groups served: Widowed, separated and divorced persons.
St. Monica's Society - St. Genevieve Catholic Church
Contact: Annie Miller -- Phone (337) 235-0465
Services Provided: Monthly meeting includes sharing and a covered dish meal.?
Groups served: Widowed persons in the community.
OTHERS:?
Acadiana Chapter of Compassionate Friends
Contact: Pat Primeaux -- Phone (337) 856-1285
Services Provided: A monthly support group which shares through discussions and guest speakers. Compassionate Friends also offers a library open to the public.
Groups served: Bereaved parents and siblings
Lafayette General Medical Center Widowed Person's Support Group
Contact: Ida Nezey -- Phone (337) 289-8516
Services Provided: Bi-monthly meetings with speakers and support group discussions.
Groups served: Recently widowed men and women of all ages.
Friends in Grief
Contact: William Nichols -- Phone (337) 948-8835
Services Provided: A support group which meets to share in group discussions and periodically hosts speakers. The group meets monthly at Opelousas General Hospital. Hospice of Acadiana Heart to Heart Support Group
Contact: Bernie Stelly -- Phone (337) 232-1234 Services Provided: A support group that meets weekly.
Groups served: Recently bereaved persons.
A PRAYER FOR THE BEREAVED
Lord, I come to You in prayer, asking you to touch my broken heart. Grant me, O Lord, relief of pain in my grief. Fill my emptiness with the presence of Your Spirit, who is the comforter. Walk with me, Father, through the stages of grief, especially anger, guilt, and depression. Bring me, I pray, through the darkness of death to the light and hope of Your Son's resurrection.
I offer to You, Lord, all my questions and doubts, asking that You give me in Your time some sense of peace and understanding. Most of all, grant me Your strength and the grace of surrender to let my loved ones go, to release the gift of their lives to You, the giver of all life. Be close to me on my journey of grief, and draw good from the pain I experience. All this I ask through Christ our Lord. Amen.
A PRAYER FOR OUR LOVED ONE(S)
O God, because You are not rigorous in searching out sins, we confidently hope to find a place with You. O my praise and deeds, for which I give thanks to You with joy, and I now beseech You on behalf of (insert name) failings. Hear me for the sake of Him who is the medicine of our wounds, of Him who hung upon the tree, of Him who now sits at Your right hand and makes intercessions for us. Forgive, Lord, forgive, I beseech You. Let Your mercy be exalted above Your justice. I believe that You have already done what I ask, but accept, O Lord, this "offering of my mouth." May (insert name) rest in peace, O my Lord, my God.
(The Prayer of St. Augustine upon the death of his mother, St. Monica. Modified for personal use.)
